Angels

So, the past few months of my life have been pretty much some of the most trying and emotionally exhausting of my life, and it seems like the last 10 days have been the culmination of some sickeningly cruel practical joke where the punch line never really makes an appearance. I'm going to be honest; this was probably the lowest I have felt in my entire life. When it rains, it really does seem to pour, and the domino effect is totally true. Okay, enough cliches. The bottom line is from financial trouble, to career blocks, to self worth, it has been constant disappointment after disappointment. The final blow hit this past weekend when I found out that the one person I had been able to look to for an escape and make me happy didn't quite feel the same about me, and betrayed the relationship we had in a way that is not really salvageable. It really felt like the floor had fallen out beneath me, and that I didn't really have any leg to stand on.

 There is a silver lining, though- when you are down looking at how far you've fallen, you get to look back and see just where you were and see everything and everyone that is still there, ready to pull you back. This is how I know that angels exist. They have to. There is no other way to describe the people who have literally brought my spirit and joy back to life after this hellish weekend.  I was talking with one of these people a few days ago, and we were jokingly naming the top 5 shoulder angels we would have. Oh, the foreshadowing that took place.

I am so grateful to the five angels who showed up and brought back my smile: Beth, Amy, Scott, Jessica, and Sharon.

Beth has become my big sister and one of the dearest people in my life. With her kindness, wisdom, and open invitation to play with her dogs or have a glass of wine, she has become a confidante in ways I never expected. She sees into my soul and knows just what to say to comfort me while at the same time making me realize that I am in control of the way I respond and can turn things around for myself. She cares so deeply for the people in her life, and will not let anyone hurt a friend of hers.

Amy has been such a dear friend to me since we began our journey together a few years ago. From our lunch dates to her amazing hugs and threats of physical violence to anyone who harms a friend of hers, she is definitely someone I am so glad to have on my side. If you cross me, you cross Amy, too, and that is not something you want to do.

Scott is one of those people who kind of sneaks up on you, and before you realize it, there is a bond stronger than anything you could have imagined. We grew very close last year, and when he left after his internship, it was tough for me to say goodbye. Having him back in town has been amazing, because we have grown even closer over these past five weeks. He's also that kind of friend that makes you feel like crap, because he is such a good person. We have laughed so much and learned so much together, and I am forever grateful.

Jessica is one of those beautiful people who is just a joy to be around. She makes the room so much brighter just by being in it. She also is very intuitive and knows when a mask is hiding the real person. Her encouraging words come at just the right time, and she can make a FINE cupcake/brownie/anything filled with sugar and love- just like her. The amount of care and concern she has is so immensely heartwarming, and I am so grateful to be around her every chance I get.

Sharon is walking sunshine. I can't stay angry or upset when I am around her. She takes in every ounce of darkness and turns it into light and warmth. When things are falling apart, She is the first person I call, and she is the first person to remind me of what makes me who I am. Her spirit is beautiful, and I love her so much.

These five people are my angels. I could not have gotten through this time without them, and I am forever in their debt for reminding me who I am and what I have to be thankful for.